How do I tell the people closest to me that I am about to embark on journey that they will most definitely feel is the end of my life?? How do I tell them that I've disappointed them and dashed all of their hopes for me?

Should I tell them I'm sorry for what I've done, when really... I'm not.

I'm not sorry, I'm not sad. The timing isn't what I wanted, but it feels right. It feels good, and I feel confident that it's all going to be ok.

I'm scared. Don't get me wrong. Will it be easy, will it be hard, will I survive it all? I don't know. I just don't know. Now is the time to find out. I don't really have a choice I guess. I mean, I do, but that's not my choice.

Luckily, Ben is amazing, and excited about everything. I'm excited about him, us, and everything that comes with that.